Ann Coulter Appears As Guest On Roast of Rob Lowe - BIG Mistake!
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John A. Smith Editor/Founder, September 10, 2016
The Price of Shamelessly Promoting Your Book; Ann Coulter
Way too high if you look at Ann Coulter's guest appearance on The Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe. This past Monday, September 5, 2016, the roast of Rob Lowe aired but you would think it was a roast of Ann Coulter. She is an American conservative social and political
commentator, writer, syndicated columnist, and lawyer. She frequently
appears on television, radio, and as a speaker at public and private
events. This appearance on the roast is one she is going to regret for some time. Shortly after coming up to the lectern she propped up her book and received a very cool reception. She was booed when the crowd wasn't silent. Before she had a turn to unsuccessfully try to win over the attendees there were of course other guests who took their shot at her.
All the Ann Coulter Knocks At Comedy Central's Roast of Rob Lowe - The Shots Are Fired At Ann Coulter - She Asked For It
David Spade hosted the event even though Roast Master Jeff Ross was present and dressed as Prince in tribute to the late artist, and the set was adorned with purple as well. David Spade fired the first shot when he was about to bring up the first guest Pete Davidson (SNL/NBC) after saying that "Pete's dad never got to see him on Saturday Night Live because he died on 9/11, and his mother never got to see him on SNL because she blinks." (pa dom tom) and then it came "is Pete white or is he black? Ann Coulter needs to know so she can decide if she hates him"
Here are more embarrassing (well, to a normal person would be embarrassing) things said to, and at, Ann Coulter:
Pete Davidson: "and Ann Coulter is here, hey, if Ann Coulter is here who's scaring the crows away from our crops?" "ya know Ann describes herself as a polemicist (Devil's Advocate) but most people call her a cunt!" "ya know last year we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets, this year we have Ann Coulter who cuts eye holes into them."
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Rob Reagle: "Holy Shit! Is that Ann Coulter? Ann Coulter is here, which could mean only one thing, someone must of said her name 3 times, Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!" and later said "Fun fact, Ann Coulter has a big angry bush, no joke, that's just a fun fact." "Rob's played many wonderful roles in film, recently he played JFK in "Killing Kennedy" Jesus Christ hasn't that family suffered enough? Grassy knoll! But not as grassy as Ann Coulter's BIG ANGRY BUSH! INSTANT CALL BACK!" "Rob played a guy on Parks and Rec [sic] where he misused the word literally, correct use of the word would be...I don't know, Rob Lowe has literally had sex with everyone in this room, except Ann Coulter because her bush is literally too ANGRY! YES! THREE-PEAT! They said I couldn't do it! But I did it! I nailed Ann Coulter's bush 3 times!
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| Rob Lowe Roast - Jewel Photo by uwbc.host |
Jules: Wasted no time as she said "it's an honor to be here, I do want to say first off as a feminist I can't support everything being said up here tonight but as someone who hates Ann Coulter I'm delighted." "Jeff Ross is here, he's going to party like it's 1999, Ann Coulter is going to vote like it's 1899." "Ann you do look great though, your almost as thin as Donald Trump's chance of winning the election." "Actually it's a small world though because last week I was behind Ann at Chipotle and she ordered something to go, the entire kitchen staff was like here, leave....the country!" "What's weird is that gay men love Ann Coulter, it's because after 2 seconds of hearing her speak, they remember why they hate pussy."
Jimmy Carr: "Ann Coulter, here we go, Ann Coulter is one of the most repugnant, hateful, hatchet-faced bitches alive, but, but, it's not to late to change Ann, you can kill yourself." "Ann Coulter looks so much like a truck stop transvestite whore that I saw Jeff Ross run to an ATM just before the show." "Ann Coulter's pussy, (he looks over at Ann, outreaches his arm showing her his palm and says seriously, this gets classy) Ann Coulter's pussy is so old and dry that it's just got a job drawing cartoons for The New Yorker." (he finishes with her by making a motion as to tipping his hat to her).
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| Peyton Manning on Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe - Photo by boston.cbslocal.com |
Peyton Manning: "WOW! I just realized I was not the only athlete up here tonight, as you all know, earlier this year Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby. Congrats on that Ann."
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Nikki Glaser: "And without Fuhrer[sic] ado, Ann Coulter, oh Ann, what's it like to be a real-life Super Villain? Ya know, like I would ask you how you sleep at night but I assume you hang upside down in a robe of 101 dalmatians. Ann Coulter has written 11 books, 12 if you count Mein Kampf. Ann's been called things like a racist, anti-Semitic, homophobic, a white supremacist, and that's just while getting plowed by Bill Maher. The only person you will ever make happy is the Mexican who digs your grave." After telling some other jokes, one about Jeff Ross saying he and Hitler had a lot in common, in that no one cared about them until they started roasting people.As the crowd moaned Nikki said "Guys, I can make that joke because I'm not Jewish, so I don't care, don't be mad, at least I acknowledge the Holocaust, Ann doesn't even think it happened."
Ralph Macchio: "Ann Coulter, I glad to see you here, ya know, I respect you, your the one female commentator to stand to take a leak."
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| Ann Coulter on Roast of Rob Lowe 8-2016 www.tvline.com |
And then it happened, Ann Coulter came to the lectern with this introduction from David Spade: "O.K. guys, and now a real treat for fans of hate watching, Ann Coulter's coming up, Ann hopes the Republicans can hold on to the House, so she can continue to haunt it. She seems stiff and conservative but Ann gets wild in the sheets, just ask the Klan. It looks like shes having a good time, she hasn't laughed this hard since Trevon Martin got shot. Please welcome Ann Coulter."
She approached under courteous applause and started with "Thank you everyone I want to welcome you to the Ann Coulter roast with Rob Lowe." Then she went right to shes glad to be here with Rob Lowe and all the wonderful talents and it has "nothing to do with being the next stop on my press junket for the book I just published four days ago In Trump We Trust"and that is where the crowd got ugly, booing loudly. "E Pluribus Awesome" she said and the crowd started getting angrier and louder. "Pause for Boos, oh wait I wasn't supposed to read that" was her attempt at comedy. Then she placed the book on the lectern and said "available in book stores...I know it's shameless but I'm on stage with a guy who made two Joe Dirt films so how shameless can I be" and that's enough of her. At that point she kept trying to be funny but drew NO LAUGHS and the camera kept going to the audience and showing faces in blank stares spewing hate for her.
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Roast Master Jeff Ross followed Coulter and ran a bunch of good one-liners and then "it's great to be here at the Comedy Central Roast of White Privilege. I know what your thinking, how come there's no black people up here, well, we actually booked two but there not here yet." At which point the camera went to African-Americans in the audience giving Jeff the finger. And that's he focused on Ann.
Jeff Ross: "Ann, what happened, you wrote 11 books but you couldn't write a single fucking joke?" "Ann, you have a face that would make doves cry." "This is hard, how do I roast somebody from hell?" "BITCH!" "Ugh, and that voice (he makes sounds like babbling) it's like fingernails on a chalkboard of an inner-city school you want to defund." "Don't stare at me with that roasting bitch face." "Ann's against gay marriage, what's your thinking on that? If I can't get a husband they shouldn't either?"
And then it was Rob Lowe's turn. He was returning the roasting back to those who gave it to him and then it came:
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Rob Lowe: "It's 56 days to Halloween but I see that Ann Coulter's [sic] already in her skeleton costume. People ask, why is Ann Coulter here tonight? Answer? Because the Right-to-Lifers wanted everybody to see what an abortion looks like up close. And you know Ann, after seeing your set tonight I think we've all witnessed the first bombing you can't blame on a Muslim.
And there you have it. All the jokes about and to Ann Coulter from the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe. Hope you enjoyed it.
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